tears and more tears

We have had some lovely weather and spent yesterday at the local water park, which was good fun. Today however, is not so good. Darren was feeling sick, dizzy and tired so I am calling Macmilllian nurse tomorrow. However before I can do that we have an important appointment for Tanisha, our eldest. She has a assessment to find out if she has ASD, (austistic spectrum disorder). It just seems to be a long list of things at the moment, and sitting here, its all got on top of me. I know i will be fine tomorrow when all this is over with for Tanisha.
I just really need to have a rest and our little family holiday cant come soon enough.

Results

Darren went to his appointment today and his wbc was good. However they are concerned that his liver function tests arent good. The levels have started to come up again which isnt good so been referred to another specialist. Hoping we can get this sorted.
Other than that all is good, although Darren has been more tired this week. Next results in 6 weeks will give us a percentage of the cancer cells, so will be better informed then.
Hope all the readers are well.

The sun is shining

Thats its really its a beutiful day outside :)

Never rains but it pours

Its been a really crap week. Tanisha has had her SENCO report for her assessment visit which wasnt nice reading in parts. I had my hospital visit which resulted in some treatment i wasnt exspecting and so am now feeling pretty rough and run down. Darren is doing well but finding work a bit hard, i think more the hours. My works pretty busy but i like being busy.

My mum called to ask about booking a holiday for next year (which we tend to do a lot) and had to explain we just cant plan that far ahead anymore. I dont know what will happen in a year. We dont know if Darren will be in remission, be rejecting drugs and on a new lot or even be needing a bone marrow. Its so hard to know we just cant plan, our lives are stuck for now. Most days we live a normal day with only the large amount of meds in the box or the hospital appointment on the calander to show we live daily with cancer.
Oh well enough moaning best get back to practicing my smile!

another week another worry

Another week goes by and Darren is doing well. His gone back to work full time this week, but is very tired some days, but putting on a good face! Money has hit a terrible low this week, but things are improving. Tanisha has an appointment in 2 weeks for an assessment for ASD. I on the other hand have an appointment on Tuesday for some tests due to some woman problems (very red faced atm) but hoping it doesnt show anything to worry about otherwise i might just cry :(
Im so glad Darren is improving and long may it continue.

Grrr Chest infections

Well my cough and cold turned into a chest infection and so now on AB. I had left it too long and could barely catch a breath, so taking a while to clear. Its hit me quite hard, but i think just the stress of the last few weeks has tired me out.
Darren back to work till 3pm this week, and seems to be coping ok.
MOney is tight as hell and im struggling to find a way out of things but hoping things will sort themselves out once payday rolls around at the end of the month.
Tanisha has been really very "off" this week, crying but not knowing why and getting a little mouthy, which isnt like her. I think she's tired out, worried and stressed too. Its got to be so hard for a little girl of six to understand whats happening. I hope she gets though this ok, and its such a pain as if we lived 2 towns over we would be able to access family councelling, help with money and things like massage and other relaxing stuff. Oh well, life sucks some days, and think today is just one of them. Hoping for a quiet weekend.

thought it might be time for a picture of me, especially as its me writing this blog :)

Well, another week rolls by.

Funny weekend here, Im feeling unwell, especially in evenings and morning and Darrens been looking after me. His a good nurse LOL. Im worrying he might get my cough and cold, but hoping he doesn't so no kisses for me.
I have paid for our holiday today and its left money tight but to be honest, its worth it if it gives us a break. We know where the nearest hospital is but i need to find out if that one has a cancer ward, just in case.

I would like to say to the person that left a message on my last thread, please feel free to email me, minx101@hotmail.com if you want.

all quiet on the westen front,

Not a lot going on here. Darren had his first week back to work but only till 12pm everyday. His putting on a good front but is clearly tired out.
All the talk of swine flu is a bit of a worry as Darren would be so ill if he caught it, fingers crossed its all panic rather than truth.
We have decided to take up cycling as a family, should be fun! but the hope is it will keep Darren healthy, but not wear him out too much. (I think the kids do that)

Well thats our boring little life, which i am loving. So much nicer without weekly hospital appointments, or hospital stays.

Just a warning to all that read this because they have searched for blogs on CML, be careful what you read. There are some sad stories, as yes CML can and does kill people, but please try and remain postive. As sad as I am for those who lost loved ones to CML, I cannot let those thoughts enter my head. Maybe once Darrens better I will. Hugs to those that need them, prayers for those who are sick and love to all that love someone else xx